Do I smell funny?

I guess racism is a current theme in my 2 recent posts. In the last post I talked about how Koreans can be a bit racist when it comes to wanting a certain type of people to teach their kids English- mainly just white people. Normally I try to stay away from making generalizations and grouping am entire people group into one category but in this case it's quite appropriate and fitting for me to make such a general statement. Korea is a land of conformity and collectivistic thinking. There is a strong emphasis on being the same. It's not normal to stand out and be different unlike the west where individuality is encouraged and promoted. Many Asians and most especially Koreans strive to be the same. I obviously cannot say that about all Koreans but it can certainly be said of the majority of the people in this country.

Anyway.. There is another form of racism that I never realized I would experience. Many Koreans, especially the elderly, are racist against white people. In their defense, a lot of young people just out of college come over here to teach English and spend their evenings and weekends in the bars and clubs making fools of themselves. Combine that with the American military who are known for getting drunk and starting fights, one can hardly blame Koreans-a generally peaceful people- for not wanting these idiot foreigners here. BUT NOT ALL OF US ARE THAT WAY! I've experienced racism in small ways mainly on the subways. The seats next to me sometimes will remain empty until all the other seats have bee filled and there is nowhere else to sit. This is not a comon occurence; it's only happened 4 or 5 times. But it still feels strange to know that because my skin color and perhaps my language or culture is different, I'm not accepted. I feel for my black brothers and sisters! Right now in fact there is an elderly man sitting across from me on the subway that has been staring at me for the last 10 minutes. I'm sure it's just out of curiousity. I'm pretty used to getting stared at by now. But it's a different thing when people are clearly avoiding you.

Just a few minutes ago as I was waiting for the subway to arrive I decided to sit on a bench. This particular bench can hold about 4 people. There was one older gentleman sitting on one end of the bench. I sat down on the opposite end of the bench. There was plenty of space between us. As I sat down, he looked at me, stood up, and walked about 25 feet away to sit on a bench that 2 people were already sitting on. Talk about a slap in the face. Well, it's all part of the experience of living in a foreign culture I guess. Take the good and leave the bad. Even though it seems I'm just picking on Koreans, that's only because it's where I find myself. I know racism exists everywhere; especially in America.

Take it to the Cross

When we were at ORU, Taylor and I both had the privilege of going on several ORU Missions trips. Thank you to all of you who supported us in those trips. ORU Missions has, what I believe to be, one of the best missions training programs out there. In addition to preparing the teams throughout the year, there is a week-long intensive "ropes course" usually at a retreat center- led by a highly trained team that really knows what they're doing.

One of the established things we always do during Ropes is have a cross somewhere on campus. Whenever you're out of line- being late to stuff, not doing what you should be, or having a bad attitude, you are asked to "take it to the cross." This consists of physically run to whatever the location of the cross is on the campus, stopping to take time and reflect and ask God to help you, and running back to whatever activity you were in the midst of. If your attitude still hasn't changed, well, take it to the cross again!

Today I need to remind myself to "take it to the cross." I got what was not only some bad news, but some distasteful news that makes me want to talk really bad about Koreans. You see, I have been trying to find someone to substitute for me for about 2 months now during the time I'll be in America. So far, my efforts have been fruitless. Nobody can or wants to do it. I was trying to find someone I know within a network, rather than a random stranger off of Craigslist. Apparently, the parents would prefer a random stranger off of Craigslist.

I finally found someone- a friend at church- that was willing to do it- partially just as a favor for me, because I really needed to find someone. My friend, Judy, is Korean-American. She speaks English just like me, no accent. She barely knows Korean. Yet, she doesn't qualify according to my boss. Why? Because she is not white. Yes, that's what she told me. The parents pay for an American to be their teacher. I said she IS an American! She said, "Well not Asian, just white." "Not even black?" I asked. "Um, well, um, white is best." Yes, that's really what she said. I'm not putting those words in her mouth. All based on the appearance. The parents don't care if she grew up in America, doesn't know Korean, has American citizenship...none of that matters. Only that she has a white face.

So I asked, to clarify, "You're telling me that you would rather me get a random person off of Craigslist that we have no idea if they are trustworthy or reliable or capable- rather than someone I know personally who I trust and has given me her word to show up?" My boss' response- "Yes. I agree with you, but this is what the parents want." And keep in mind that this is only for 8 days total. It's not like the person is taking over for me permanently- they're just stepping in for a little over a week.

I really want to go off right now...I'm so irritated! But, I just gotta remember- Take it to the cross!

A life of faith...or a life of fear?

What drives you in life? Is faith behind the things you do? Or do you find yourself being driven to do things by fear?

I was so proud of my husband yesterday afternoon at our first staff meeting at the new job. We've been at GVCS Junior, which is almost entirely separate from GVCS- our former school. The only thing the two schools have in common is that they are owned by the same man- Reverend Jean Seok Nam. Other than that, there's really no connection between the two school. GVCS Junior is a small English-learning Academy. Taylor teaches an adorable class of Kindergarteners from 9:30 AM-2:15. I am only working part-time right now, so we both have elementary classes in the afternoons. Such a drastic change from our previous school year! More on that later.

Anyway....today we had a staff meeting. GVCS Junior just came into existence about 6 months ago. It was previously another Hogwon (academy) that Reverend Nam bought and changed the name. It is still supposed to be a Christian school. We recently got a new principal who wants to have Bible classes and incorporate more of the Bible into our curriculum. Taylor and I were excited to hear that, because the curriculum is currently void of any Bible teaching. Some of the other teachers became very concerned. 

As I briefly mentioned the school is very small. One of the other teachers openly voiced her concern about losing students if we incorporate Christian classes. Even though the school is a Christian school, they have not been operating much differently than the previous Hogwon until this new principal recently came in. She wants to change things. But a few of our co-workers have allowed the fear of man to grip them and are afraid to make any changes for fear that some parents might not like it and remove their children from the school. Since the school is low on numbers already, our co-workers are afraid that the school would be forced to shut down. 

Taylor boldly stood up and said, hey, let's not let a fear of man drive us. Yes, we should use caution and wisdom, but we shouldn't allow fear of what other people may do to stop us from doing what we are supposed to be doing.

What's got you afraid?
The economy?
The stockmarket?
Your co-workers losing their jobs, and you're afraid you're next?


Fear can be crippling. It can paralyze you. Fear is not of God. 


In fact, the Bible tells us that God has NOT given us a spirit of fear; but a spirit of power, and of love, and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).


You might be thinking,"Well, Ashley and Taylor don't know how hard it is and what the economy is like here in the States. They just got jobs..."

You're right- we may not know as well as you. We might not feel the pain you feel...but God is sovereign. TRUST IN HIM. Life is about perspective. You can choose to see the good or the bad. But spending your days worrying and being fearful won't get you very far. I can promise you that.


I like the old adage: "Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." 


God is so faithful. We will eventually come back to the US looking for jobs. At the rate it's going, the economy will be worse then than it is now. But we don't look to the economy to provide for us. God is our provider. He is our source. And He is faithful.

We have seen the hand of God providing for us in our marriage and even before our marriage time and time and time again. Trust in Him. He is good. If you're going through a hard time, take heart. Be encouraged. If you want prayer or would like to talk about this, let us know. We'd be happy to pray for you. 

I'd like to leave you with a few words....

Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. 
-Isaiah 41:10

in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

-Psalm 56:11

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?
   ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
 -Matthew 6:25-34
 

Where is your trust and confidence??